Who? Who could have done such a thing?
Last night before I went to sleep I made sure to empty the water collecting bucket which has been placed under the leeking air coditioner in the room we have rented in Singapore.
I then awoke this morning to THIS!
One can plainly see there has been foul play. First, there is the fact the bucket is over half full when every other night the bucket has merely been a quarter full. By the water mark splashed up on the side of the wall I can tell that there was a bit of struggle getting the extra water into the bucket. So whoever, or whatever did this must have been a bit small and unable to cleanly pour the extra water in. And finally, from the hair which lays withered and dry along side its damp counterpart I can tell the culprit had: A. Hair, and B. Some kind of hair affliction.
So who could have snuck into my room and committed such a horrific act of water drop collecting sabotage? These guys.
Thats right!
Damn you!
Damn you Rabid Talking Lemurs With Scabies!
Stay away from my damn water bucket!
Read MoreAsus Padfone TV commercial Shoot
Asus Padfone wins the award for quickest turn around for TV commercial ever! We shot this commercial a couple weeks back and already it has been edited together, is up on youtube, and is airing across Asia!
Not bad.
My boy here has worked with me on just about every commercial I have done in Malaysia. He has shined light on me for Lipton, pulled trap doors from underneath me for 7-Up, and here he is on Asus protecting me from the sun. Love this guy!
Without a doubt the most complicated task of the day was the old “Look at your phone, grab one particular umbrella out of many while walking and continuing to look at your phone, then open the umbrella with one hand and look confident while smiling but not too big.” That took a few takes.
The umbrellas stunt was even more complicated then the dreaded “slide down stares on a wooden bored stunt”.
The 2 day shoot was a damn good time and I must say, the youtube video Asus put up is getting some interesting comments which I will discuss in a later post.
Pics from the shoot
Oh, and here is the final product.
View from The Ritz in downtown Kuala Lumpur where the bedroom scene was shot.
The 7 Stages of Losing Your Wallet
It has happened to just about all of us at one point or the other; the confusion, the terror, the held back raging violent tantrum that if unleashed would cause an earthquake, melt the ice caps, murder baby seals, and post inappropriate pictures of The British royal family members to the internet…
It had been quite some time since I last lost my wallet, but the reaction is all too familiar.
It was a humid friday evening in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. I had just got payed for a shoot, thus foolishly placed a large amount of money in my wallet before leaving for Club VR-1’s grand opening. I payed our cab driver; exited his funny smelling car and waltzed gleefully into the party to grab a beer. Then…
It happened.
Some unknown force, feeling, or simply just the fact my jeans were feeling lighter told me to check the back pocket.
Fuck…
Nothing.
Fuck… Fuck… Fuck! Fucking Shit!
It is at this point that you enter Stage 1 of “Losing Your Wallet”.
Stage One: Disbelief
You start to think, “Ha! It’s probably in my other pocket”. Even though you know damn well you have never put your wallet in the front pocket of your pants (It would just look stupid).
Then you think, “It’s probably on the floor next to the bar!”. It’s of course not on the floor. The beer was free, you had not pulled your wallet out since…
that’s right.
The cab ride!
Stage 2: Acceptance
This is when you realize your wallet is actually gone. You grab a beer,and try and hang-out with you friends as if nothing is wrong. You stand there, looking out into space, silent. As people say hi to you, you expressionlessly nod and think about if it makes sense to rabbit punch them in the face and take their wallet. You start to think about all the things in the wallet:
The cash, the credit cards, the drivers license, your girlfriend’s drivers license, insurance card, that picture of you and your family you had for 4 years, that little note about remembering to do something that you will now never do, and those business cards from all those possibly important people that you were going to e-mail and tell them how important you are…
fuck.
Stage 3: Denial
But wait! There is a bit of hope! Perhaps you missed your pocket in your haste to get into the party and the wallet is just laying in a puddle on the street. Surely all those people walking around out there would not see a wallet with a silver University of Texas longhorn emblem on it that was 100% leather made from real Texas Cattle that still some how managed to smell like one of the most incredible cities in the world…
Austin, Texas (Can’t believe I lost my University of Texas Wallet!).
And if somebody did find it, surely they would be an honorable individual and are standing there waiting for your return.
You run out there and…
No. No wallet and when all the bouncers and other randoms conspiciously standing around the scene are asked of their knowledge on the matter they seem to not even know what a wallet is.
Stage 3: Anger
Now you’re just pist off. How could you be so stupid? The only thing stopping you from throwing chairs off the balcony bar into the street and murdering a puppy is that refreshing cold beer in your hands.
That, and stage 4.
Stage 4: The 2nd Denial
You’re friends then make the suggestion that you call the taxi company. Perhaps the driver has reported it lost. Exhausted from the emotional roller coaster you make the call as your friends look on unfaithful in their own words.
“But wait! My business cards with my phone number and e-mail on them are in the wallet! Surely the rude taxi driver who I slammed the door on will do the right thing and give me call and return the wallet”.
Then of course your friends are there to say, “Yeah… the taxi drive is totally going to call you man.”
“Yeah buddy, you’ll probably have an e-mail from him tomorrow”.
Stage 5: The 2nd Acceptance
“No! My non e-mail having, dick of a taxi driver is not going to be e-mailing me!”
You brush your friends aside and rush to the bar.
Stage 6: Inebriation
Right after the 2nd acceptance you begin to drink heavily. Its the only way to cope with such horrific occurrence.
And as you get drunk you start to think “I still have my health, its just a wallet!”
When your friends ask “how are you doing?”, you even put your arm around them and say “I still have my health, its just a wallet!”
Stage 7: The Realization
You wake up a bit hungover and reach for the counter to grab your wallet so you can snag a couple bills to buy a 100 plus isotonic sugarized cancer causing rehydrating beverage before your morning swim.
“Oh thats right! I lost my damn wallet!”
Now you start to go over all the mind numbing tasks of calling the credit card companies and getting credit cards sent overseas, trying to figure out how to get The State of Texas to mail your ID to Malaysia, buying another wallet that will never match up to the Univeristy of Texas wallet, and you start to think about how much money was in there exactly.
I would like to say we learn lessons from these types of ocurrences, but the fact of the matter is we don’t.
We knew damn well that losing our wallet was a bad idea, but it happened anyway.
It just happens.
I call it a Life Tax.
Traveling Travels: The Philippines
This past week I went on a trip to the only predominately Asian-Latino Country I know of…
The Philippines! Asia gave Filipinos beautiful islands, weather, and a great ethnic foundation for some beautiful people. Spanish colonization gave it a bit of latin passion. Spanish Conquistadors out of Mexico gave forth tacos, and the USA occupation gave basketball and english. If it sounds like a rad place that’s because it is.
In Manila I met up with some old friends and let it be known that the stories are true. At any point Filipinos are capable of breaking out into song and Dance.
Shortly after my arrival I was informed that the weekend after Holy Week was just simply the best time to go to Boracay. So… we did just that.
(Magellan certainly did not have this in mind when he first landed.)
With some of the whitest sanded palm tree lined beaches I have ever seen, Boracay makes for a nice trip.
More reason The Philippines kick ass!
Thanks for the great week Philippines.
Cleo Bachelor 29 gets advised by Christian Capes
The journey continues here in Kuala Lumpur. I, the lonely bachelor 29 am struggling with who I am not just as a person, but who I am as a Cleo Bachelor. After some soul searching and a bit of questioning of people on Facebook I have come to this half-hearted conclusion.
I as a person am a bit of an ass hole. But not a total ass hole. I am an ass hole with a heart of gold! I merely am trying to propel the world forward with my ass holeness.
As a Cleo Bachelor I am apparently…
I’m probably still a bit of an ass hole lets not kid ourselves. But, I’m an ass whole with an adorable picture in a magazine!
Anyway, here is what my good friend and former Cleo Bachelor winner, Christian Capes had to tell me.
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2)">CLEO Bachelor 29 Gets Advised (2)
The Journey for myself continues as Cleo bachelor 29 Malaysia. I have given Moe Nasrul’s advice some consideration but I yearn for more.
Being Cleo Malaysia’s most controversial bachelor is a struggle. My constant usage of words like “shit”, “fuck”, and the rarely heard “Super fuck!” have made many in the male pageant industry uncomfortable. What has gone over even less well is my constant usage of the word “gay”. I’m of course not using it in such a way to be derogatory or disrespectful to those of the homosexual persuasion (some of my best friends are gay and my usage of the term in this manner is quite common where I come from.), but I use it in phrases such as “thats gay”, “you’re gay”, “this is gay”. All of which usually refer to something being ridiculously retardedly stupid…
with merely a hint of gayness attached. Not that there is anything wrong with that hint of gayness, it’s just an observation.
If The British can call cancer causing sticks of doom “fags”, I can call random silliness with a hint of gayness gay.
Perhaps Malaysia’s Hip Hop Revolutionary C-LOCO will be able to help me in my time of need during these hard times as Bachelor 29.
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CLEO Bachelor 29 Gets Advised
It’s hard being one of Cleo’s 50 most eligible bachelors… real hard.
Not many truly understand all the ridicule, the stress, the vicious sex deprived teenagers (female and male), the bad press, bad pictures, and horribly paraphrased Q&A sessions we have to put up with.
I have become so distraught that I, Bachelor 29, have decided to seek out the advice of some of my dear friends here in Malaysia so that i may be able to get through this experience without permanent emotional and mental scarring.
T.V. show host Moe Nasrul was the first to come to my aid.
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Traveling Travels: Malaysia
Jungles, boats, tea, elephants, kittens, clouds and boobs… Malaysia.
Sarah and I were lucky enough to accompany our buddy Yew Han Baker for and episode of his Malaysian travel show.
Pumped about elephants!
Elephant!
Sarah acts like a baby dinosaur… as she tends to do on occasion.
Celcom Blue Commercial
A few months ago I blogged about a very interesting experience.
Here is the final result of that commercial shoot.
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No Use Cry’n Over Spilt Blood
As many of you may have gathered from past blogs and pictures, one of our upcoming short films involves a bit of fake blood. Fake blood seems to have a tendency to end up in places where it’s not supposed to be. One such place being the directors face.
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