My Valentine Was Bangkok (Epic Blogging)

Where do I begin? The past few of months have been pretty insane and at times its difficult to wrap my head around everything.

So… Its time for some blogging of epic proportions! Be prepared for more videos than you want to watch and more pictures than you want to see.

Commence EPIC BLOGGING!

Lets start with the release of the music video I did for Thaitanium where once again I find myself playing the role of everybody’s favorite lovable nerd-hero.

I covered the joy of shooting this in a previous post which can be seen by clicking here.

Check out the official behind the scenes video below as well.

I have a bit of a bone to pick with the editor of the behind the scenes footage as it would appear that my more interesting and colorful antics/commentary did not seem to make the final cut.   Oh well,  probably just another instance where somebody far more tactful than I saved my  colleagues from my boisterous nonsensical outbursts of graphic rhetoric while pandering to the camera’s blinking red light.  (I’m a sucker for when somebody points a camera at me and says, “say something”.  If only they knew.)

And here… finally the finished product!  Thaitanium’s “Come Alive” Music Video.

COME ALIVE

And yet another project I had the pleasure of working on has also been completed.  James Tang’s short film Venus & Mars explores the interworkings of a love affair shrouded in indifference, plagued by homicidal intent, tainted by infidelity, all the while manipulated by treachery and donuts.

VENUS & MARS

Then there was also the trip down to good ol Malaysia to host Unseen TV’s 24 hours in Kuala Lumpur which consisted of me buzzing around town hitting up all the hotspots and interviewing some local celebs.

In the morning, I had breakfast at The Imbi market and did some shopping at Pavilion mall.   This was followed by a run in with man eating fish!    They are actually known as Dr. Fish and seem to  love eating dead and infected skin off of your body.  Apparently when they do this it allows new and healthy skin to grow, thus making you healthier.  All it did for me was scare the hell out of me.

Words cannot describe the initial sensation as 100s of these tiny fish begin pecking at every milimeter of surface area on your feet. I very well may have screamed like a little girl.

I then ventured over to Petaling streetin in China town where I haggled over some luminescent hot pink underwear.  And after that, had an amazing dinner interview with friend, radio host, model and  fitness writer  Fay Hokulani at Atmosphere 360 atop the KL tower.

Gotta plug my peeps with their  pics.

www.withlovefay.com

The crew and I then made our way over to bar 21 to meet up with another friend, Patricia Knudsen who was DJing that evening.  Patricia not only DJ’s, she is a radio host for Capital FM, TV host for ESPN Star Sports and does a bit of modeling as well.

We also managed to snag interviews with with local TV celeb Joey G who was DJing and also Mark Doyal, a pioneer in partying music and is the creator of UK based record labels Hed Kandi and Fierce Angel.

We darted off to Library in KLCC to catch up with one of the most interesting bands Kuala Lumpur has ever had grace it’s presence…

Mad Sally

How much fun can 2 Englisman and 3 Iranians have up on stage dressed in hot pink glamour goth.  A hell of a lot!  Known for their corky on-stage antics these 5 musicians are each extremely talented and truly love what they do.  Not only that, they are just really awesome guys.

Finally… we head down to Zouk and got a bit crazier in our partying ways.  I ran into one of my best friends Josiah Mizukami who is also an actor, model, and host.

You guys may recall a previous post a few months back where I mentioned a radio show appearance on BFM  98.9  by Josiah and I where we discuss metrosexuality.  This actually happened!  The whole show lasted about an hour, but for your listening pleasure i have managed to cut it down to about 3 minutes. Enjoy…

JOSIAH AND JUSTIN ON METROSEXUALITY (BFM 98.9 KUALA LUMPUR)

Unseen TV’s 24 hours in Kuala Lumpur is currently still in post production but will be out super soon!

I have also taken up a bit of new hobby…

Stand up Comedy! My first show at Londoners went quite well and I am super excited about giving the audience something unexpected once again this coming monday.  Most likely me chugging beer will not be involved… but once I get up on stage I just loose control sometimes.

All the other Bangkok projects continue to push on!

Every day Creation Circus is continuing to get closer and closer to completing it’s flagship short film… Special effects are being finalized and a phat ass sound track being made.  And I’m bringing back the ghetto term “Phat”!  Deal with it!  We got some other interesting projects coming out of Bangkok soon, I do love this town.  Bangkok, will you be my Valentine every year?

Thats enough out of me for one blogpost, time to go put some cucumber all over my face.

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Silverlake Music Festival 2012

Well… it was obvious that we were lost. As myself and 3 friends road in the back of truck trying to figure out if the driver had any idea where we were going.  I then realized I was almost done with my beer and thought, “I really need another beer if we are going to keep doing this whole lost thing”.
Other people in the truck were probably more concerned about the fact we were heading on some dark road of doom to nowheresville and were running late.  Maybe we should have anticipated getting a bit lost and not spent all day on the beach.  I for one refuse to hold a Sunset Beer accountable for any  erroneous happenings.

Then, there it was. It kind of just magically appeared out of the blackness as we reached the top of a hill.

Lights!!! And a lake!!! And stages with even more lights!!!

We had finally made it to the Silverlake Music Festival!!!

Upon passing through the first entryway, we were quickly whisked away by yet another truck which winded through a vineyard into a valley where the festival grounds were located.  As the festival lights reflected just enough off the surrounding mountains to appreciate their unique Tim Burtonesque shapes, I thought to myself “Could this music festival location get any more Super-Awesome?”.   I then found out that beer only cost 33baht ($1 USD) and my question was answered.

Due to our late arrival we missed out on Owl City..
Yeah I didn’t really care too much about that either.

I was there for Seether and one of my all time favorite bands, Incubus.

And I was not disappointed.  It’s not too often that you get to hear one of your favorite bands rock out in front of thousands of people in a vineyard surrounded by mountains while drinking 33 baht beer.  It just doesn’t happen!

Pics of the festical location in the day time.

So yeah, all in all…

Best concert ever!!!!!

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A Large dose of Bangkok before chasing it down with some Texas

My last post occurred about month ago just before leaving Kuala Lumpur…

That Johnnie Walker Party was insane.

I then spent a whirlwind of a 3 weeks in Bangkok.

Music producer, John Dang along with Sacha Pririya (writer and special effects wiz) joined me in filming what we hope to be a revolutionary TV show in Thailand called Bangkok Connect.  While I can’t really lay out the entire concept of our pilot at this juncture (wikileaks back the hell off!); I can say that it involves learning about some intriguing individuals and places, features the corkiness and downright absurdities of John and myself, and of course all of the creative editing done by Sacha will be sure to turn some heads.   And yes… there will be hot chicks.

If taking on the epic task of revolutionizing TV in southeast Asia was not enough…

I managed to fall ass backwards into the music video role of of the year!

…At least in Thailand anyway.

At random, I ran into my good friend and fellow film maker Aaron Man at El Diablos(the hottest new Mexican restaurant to pop up in Bangkok!).   As we ate mexican food and sipped on margaritas, Aaron began to discuss the new music video he was filming for Thailand’s number one rap group, Thaitanium.  He went over how they were having problems finding an actor for the hero role which Aaron described as “the lovable nerd hero”…

then in a moment of clarity, he looked at me and smiled.

Thats how history gets made folks.  I then ended up shooting 2 amazing days for a fantastic music video.  I got a bit sticky, really wet, had sore arms and almost hit my head on a table several times, but I know it will be worth it in the end.

The music video is not quite out yet, so for now the behind the scenes pics will have to do.

Thaitanium… Col Chill’n on the set of the “Come Alive” music video.

Aaron Man (Director), Richie Moore (Rockstar of all Directors of Photography), and myself (Everyones favorite Lovable Nerd Hero) try and decide if the extras are actually strippers.

Every Lovable Nerd Hero needs a love interest.  Introducing the enchanting Caren Utino of Brazil.

DJ Buddha makes a hilarious cameo in the video.

Freddy V and 2 P of the Thai rap duo Southside also made some hysterical cameos.

I work at getting comfy during a break on set.

After the music video shoot it was time to head on back to Texas for the holidays.  With fam time in San Antonio and a “Happy Birthday Jesus Party” already under my belt, I now look forward to and extravagant New Years down in Austin, Texas.  I’m excited.

Merry belated Chritsmas from Texas yall!  And have a great New Year!

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Bangkok Refugee in Kuala Lumpur

With the biggest party of the year(Johnny Walker Black Circuit) about to go down tonight in Kuala Lumpur, I sit here on my friend Kat’s balcony staring at the beautiful view of the mountains north of KL…

But all I can really think about is “I’m going to Bangkok on monday.”

I’ve been down here in Kuala Lumpur for a few weeks now as a bit of a Bangkok Flood Refugee.  While there are many people in and around Bangkok whose lives have been horribly affected and continue to be affected by the floods, my area of town remained dry.

Here is a bit of a lighthearted video touching on the main problem in my area of town.

Most of Bangkok proper in fact did not flood.  But I figured with work being effected negatively I would take off down to Malaysia and chill for a few weeks.

And it’s been a great time!

Just yesterday, my friend and partner in many crimes, Josiah Mizukami and I made a guest appearance on BFM 89.9 to talk about metrosexuality.

I was not super pumped about the topic of conversation at first, but as we got into the show, a lot of fun was had.  First of all, I don’t really consider myself a metrosexual even though I do display some suspect habits.  I model, so thats a big one.  I also do tend to care of how I look and on occasion I have been accused of  spending too much time while fixing my hair (I have thick curly hair people, it’s not easy).  And for those of you who listened to the show, yes I do rub a slice of cucumber on my face in the morning sometimes.  This may not be as much metrosexual as just absolutely ridiculous, but whatever… it feels awesome! (there will be a link up to the podcast soon).

What’s more ridiculous is Josiah admitting to spending a fair amount of time on, his Superman curl.  This very old picture below of Josiah does not contain his superman curl… but touches on one of the topics of the evening.  Metrosexuality and homosexuality are not the same. However, sometimes metrosexuality can be pretty gay.  Actually this picture does not really touch on that topic, I just had to put it up.  Isn’t he adorable?

Earlier this week was Female Magazine’s model search event.  While we were all very disappointed that the beautiful and I might add rambunctious Sarah Hodgens ended up getting 3rd place behind 2 obvoiusly less deserving candidates, we all had a great time drinking with friends and sneaking in pre-show beer…

I mean tea from Subway .

So tonight I will go out and enjoy my last big night in Kuala Lumpur and maybe forget about the glorious Bangkok for just a bit.

I have no doubt that Johnny Walker Black Circuit will not disappoint and I am pretty excited about it.

But come monday, as I sit in the back of a taxi heading from Suvarnubhumi Airport to my apartment in Bangkok, I will get to do one of my favorite things in the world.  I’ll make a few phone calls to some friends and say…

“Yo! I’m back…”

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Back to Bangkok! …and Singapore!!! And how bout some Croc Hunt’n?!

It’s been over a month since my last blogpost and I really have no reason for not writing one sooner other than…

meh…

So whats been going on? Well, Bangkok and all it’s glory is playing a much bigger role in my life since I now have an apartment here.  And I must say, I’m pretty excited about it.

It’s just so fantastic to chill pool side with a beer…

And to shotgun beer with all your best friends…

And it’s always fun going to one of the many fine drinking establishments just a stone’s throw from my apartment to enjoy a beer.

Of course there are things we enjoy doing in Bangkok that don’t involve beer.

As many people know, the flooding here in Thailand has been just short of biblical and it seems everywhere aside from Bangkok proper is under water, has been under water, or will be under water.

Ayutthaya, just north of Bangkok

During these very wet times it seems a few crocodiles have escaped from the crocodile farm and I do believe crocodile hunting would be a very good beerless activity to partake in.

This was in the Bangkokpost.

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Bangkok Warm-Up, Host’n Antics, Pica The Pug

I departed Singapore last week to head up to Bangkok to look for and apartment and to work on Creation Circus’ 2 quickly developing short films.  Apartment hunting some how got lost in between catching up with good friends and “all you can drink for free” events (a common occurrence in Bangkok where alcohol radiates its blessings upon us like rays of sunshine from the heavens.)  All in all, the trip went smoothly aside from My friend Tom Barrett’s pug(Pica) and I being allergic to each other.

Imagine being sound asleep on the couch only to be awoken by the cool mist of a congested pug’s sneeze causing you yourself to begin sneezing uncontrollably.

Pica may very well also have urinated on my Blackberry which not only created a mystery smell for a few days but also rendered my Blackberry unable to charge its own batteries. P.S. Pugs are not “cute” or “ugly cute”.

My trip to Bangkok was brief as I had to get back to The Spore to host a Davidoff Road Show and shoot a quick corporate video.

People of Orchard Road, my apologies for the harassment which was only enhanced by the 4 large speakers emitting my quipped rhetoric directed at your every move.  However, I shall not apologize for the my white short shorts, The “Can you find the guy with the mic game”, or the dance-offs (DJ Jazzy Davidoff spin’s a mean set!).

Oh… nor will I apologize for my buddy Travis getting violated by a teenage girl during a dance-off leaving the crowd and myself speechless.  May she haunt your dreams my friend. (actually that was probably inappropriate and not Orchard Road acceptable.  I will take partial responsibility for that one, but lay most of it to rest on the shoulders of her father.)

Moving on…

While in The Spore, work on Creation Circus’ flagship short film continues as our new editor Lesh and I have gotten some fantastic editing done.  For those who may not be experienced in film editing, it’s kinda like matching up the colors on a Rubik’s Cube, but each square also has moving images and sound that have to be matched up as well.  Then take into account that 4 people have a say in how everything matches up and each of them are color blind in different areas of the optical spectrum.

A common expression I have whilst editing.

With post-porduction on the short film is going full steam ahead, I can’t help but be excited about eveything going on.  And while Singapore’s surreal utopiatic perfection is great, these days I can’t help but have Bangkok on my mind.

It’s just such a damn awesome city.  I could go on about  the great bars, clubs, eating establishments, people, and ease at which one can manage to accomplish just about any daily task, but I won’t.  It’s really about the Bangkok Vibe!  People constantly ask, “why do you like Bangkok so much?”.  To which I usually respond with “It’s just got such a great vibe!”.   It is because of this vibe that I will be spending much more time in Bangkok.

And one more thing…

Disclaimers: In no way do I condone radical and or revolutionary dancing by the youth of our world in public places which may make many feel uncomfortable.

In no way to I condone  ”Pug Strangling” as a sport.  However, as a means of defense of self and property I give it a green light.

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Thieving Freaky Gay Metrosexual Yuppie Tool Douche Bags of Ass Holes That Pick Up Hookers On Buses and Deserve to Get Hit by Trains

I had a great time shooting a commercial for Asus a few months ago.  Shortly after, a few friends from Texas came  to visit me in Bangkok and Kuala Lumpur.

I decided to show them my newest TV commercial accomplishment, but thought it funny they were laughing so hard (the commercial is not that funny).  They then revealed to me the thread of comments about the video.  Below is the video for your reference and below that I have selected some of the comments for you reading pleasure.

The  below comments are not for the sensitive so please do proceed with caution.  Furthermore, in no way to I approve of the ignorance, bigotry, or mindlessness of any of these comments.

I hate so unrealistic ads with gays. MaxiKaziu

The worst commercial I’ve seen for a long time…. kolifx

This guy walks through intersection without looking, steals umbrella, interrupts a couple making out, cuts in line at the bus stop, and ignores boss/work to hang out with chicks.  Douchebag.swprichard 2 months ago 143

No puedo andar con el celular en la mano todo el dia… algun dia me lo van a robar & hasta ahi no mas llegue yohon100

So being a gay man helps you getting ladies. That doesn’t seem right. tuinkabouternl

What an asshole blizzaroxx

Why do people assume he’s gay?
Is it the way he walks, dresses or is it because he has a messenger bag?
This is normal in Europe where many heterosexual males carry tote/messenger bags but for some reason Americans assume he must be gay. Edifice06

@Edifice06 I live in Europe, I carry a messenger bag, and I am not gay at all. But that man in the ad – he is gay in the worst possible meaning of the word. No offense intended. All I feel after watching this is the urge to drive a train into him and his stupid phone/pad gadget. How annoying can one ad be … just because of that I hope that this product collects nothing but dust in the stores. Burn it! Burn everything related to it to the grounds!!! KrokodilaGena

So having a padphone will get u chicks? I´m buying one right now… *foreveralone* takamper

the more stupid commercial i even seen caberful.

How many meaningless platitudes can they jam into this marketing video? Answer: a plat-load! nikdaum 2 months ago 3

MAKE A BETTER PENIS PUMP U JAPS …….MTSMoviez 2 months ago

@twistedkatana1 They could have told you everything you needed to know in a commercial that was cool, and didn’t follow the half-day in a life of some douchebag. A douchebag that I sure as hell hope nobody aspires to be like. ihatesasquatch 2 months ago

@ihatesasquatch got himself a nice apartment in a big city. which means hes probably got a really good job that pays really well. i’d say thats the kind of douchebag i’d wanna be like. there are alot worse douchebags one could be like. twistedkatana1 2 months ago

Damn. Asus makes decent computers. Neat designs and shit. But this commercial is just fucking retarded. Is that how they’re really introducing this product? Fire the person who came up with this idea. It’s terrible. kingofhearts00 2 months ago

He just stole that umbrella. What a jerk.Turbo91Bird 2 months ago

ugh just what we need more metrosexuals careening down our sidewalks while texting SLAPCHOPshamwow 2 months ago 4

I just love how the guy steals the coffee at 0:30 and he’s like: Hey Hans, I will pay you tomorrow! And Hans is like: YAY! You owe me 100 bucks in coffee cups, but nevermind! Then at 0:49 he’s like: Why care to tell the vendor? Let’s just steal it!.

Is this really your best shot asus? WHO THE FUCK give the authorization to publish this AD? What the hell is this ad about? Is this a tutorial about how to get hooker on a bus? I hope you know that is a fail attempt to clone appleuserpeacefullifestyle? youtyuru 2 months ago

What an asus hole. Guy spends whole video jumping in front of people. myrdale 2 months ago

who shaves like that? I mean seriously … WTF was that? My face would be gushing blood if I tried that shit. jasonb527 2 months ago

I really Hate that guy i don’t know why but i hate him!!! GuilleGlad 2 months ago

@GuilleGlad maybe because he looks and behaves like a retarded yuppie clray123 2 months ago

why the hell did I just sit through a commercial?!?! MrRollingrock 2 months ago

This guy is a tool. Xtri0s 2 months ago

Man, I hate Justin. Bannman1000

Boring, cheesy and the guy is a freak. blacktronic 1 month ago

I like the product, but the guy is a bit of a tool.richo12345678 1 month ago 3

What a douche, skipping lines and stealing umbrellasdukeofgaming 3 weeks ago 9

OKay so…

yeah…

A few things of note: Who picks up hookers on buses? And who uses the term gays in that way these days?  And if you are going to call something stupid, try and avoid hideous grammatical errors which in return, may be thought of as stupid.

Some of the things said were a bit hurtful.  I imagine these are the types of things people say behind my back…

Sigh…

Do people really thing I am a thieving freaky gay metrosexual yuppie tool douche bag of an ass hole that picks up hookers on buses and deserves to get hit by a train?

To those who defended me in the thread, thank you.

If you care to check out all the comments in full, feel free to go to Asus’ youtube link at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRcx1rxTLG8

Disclaimer:  In no way do I have anything against thieving freaky gay metrosexual yuppie tool douche bags of ass holes that pick up hookers on buses and deserve to get hit by a trains.  Some of my best friends are thieving freaky gay metrosexual yuppie tool douche bags of ass holes that pick up hookers on buses and deserve to get hit by a trains.

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Singapore National Day Attack!

Last monday was a very special day here in Singapore…

Singapore National day!

For the celebration of this remarkable island nation’s 46th birthday, which also happens to be the world’s largest exporter of ornamental fish, I ended up in very nice room with an amazing view at the Pan Pacific Hotel.

When I heard ornamental fish, the Texan in me thought of this.

Then for no real reason I thought of this.

But apparently its this.

Back to National Day.  From the balcony over looking Marina Bay we could catch the festivities.

Peering out into the scenic sky scraper fringed bay we were able to catch all the commotion which included, but was not limited to; speeches, military marching, machine gun sounds, blanks being fired, some kind of tank thing, fake bombs going off in the water, a buzzing Apache helicopter, an F-15 fly-over, a shit load of fire works, and of course…

The creepiest nationalistic propagandized musical I have ever seen.

All the military shananigans were quite fun to watch. The thing that made these demonstrations of military might (which may be able to stop an attack from China for about 4 minutes) really eerie was the “terrorist theater” that went along with it.

This is essentially what went down.  A 15 minuted television program which resembled the U.S. TV show 24 started to air.  Actors playing military personnel were behaving as if Singapore was under attack.  An Asian Kiefer Sutherland would then make certain decisions, such as radioing in a helicopter to attack the terrorists.  As you sit in the room watching the TV,  you then hear a helicopter outside the hotel.  You run to the balcony and behold!  An Apache Helicopter is buzzing around Marin Bay.

It was cool, but it was also kinda weird.

Then came the 5 act musical of creepiness.

I am told the acts were titled; Present, Birth, Growing Up, Progress, and Majulah (Singapore Spirtit).

I would have titled them as follows;

Duck! They Are Shooting!

Creepiest Way to Act Out a Human Pregnancy/Birth and Relate it to The Beginnings of a Country Ever

(This picture serves the actual level of creepiness no justice.  Imagine if you will a silohuetted birth masked in an eerie red glow which some how resembled a scene from the movie Aliens taking place amongst red cubes and weird wavy pieces of cloth.)

Am I on Shrooms?

Am I on Super Shrooms?

and the last act, Oh Thank God There are Fireworks!

After all the theatrics were over, my group of friends decided we would raise the beer drinking bar by doing keg stands.

And we did.

I Strongly suggest a viewing of this cool time lapse video of the fireworks show.

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Singapore Update! (Writing, castings, and self reflection)

I’ve been in Singapore on a modeling contract for about 6 weeks now…

So… what I have been doing?

There have been some castings here and there, but for the most part the Singapore modeling season seems to be in a bit of a slump.  My normally highly demanded and highly praised skills of exaggerating already overly animated facial expressions, gesticulations, and genius comedic timing (which is far too often ruined by editors in post) seem to be going to waste at the moment.

I agree that this is a crime not just against humanity but against the progressive nature of Art in general.

I’ve done a bit of hosting for a couple Singapore ManHunt events, and while they were fun, not too much time was consumed.

Time… time…

I suppose most of my efforts the past 6 weeks have been going towards the completion of 2 short films (“Cupid” and “ The Princess“ ) that we at Creation Circus (Give us a “like”, we’re super likable) have been working on for the better part of a year.

Much progress has been made the past 6 weeks and have been very fortunate to add a very talented Singaporean, Lesh Parekh, to the team. His editing know-how and creative film mind will prove to be a huge asset.

Lesh is not actually in the picture below; but even though it was taken before Lesh became a part of The Creation Circus Team, (or before any of us met him or even new he existed for that matter) we like to think that he was here in a swamp outside of Bangkok with us in spirit.

I myself have have been hard at work going over footage and brushing up some scripts.  Writing can at times be some of the most fullfilling, rewarding, and productive times in my life.

That’s what productivity looks like.

It can also be some of the most irritating, aging, mind-numbing, and worthless times.

Another visual example of how frustrating writing can sometimes be.

Aside from whatever kinks in the road we at Creation Circus run into on our quest to bring everyone other worldly brilliance, there is one thing I am certain of.  We have been far more productive  and efficient than United States of America’s government has been the past year.

US government functionality is kinda like this poor little Monitor Lizard I saw the other day trying to cross a busy road in Singapore.  He kept cautiously walking out into the street, every time he saw a car he ran to the curb to reassess the situation.  While reassessing the situation he would watch as the vacant street lay in wait for him to attempt to cross again only to give it another go just as the flow of traffic returned.  Learning nothing he would repeat this process several times before seeming to give up and hide in a gutter.

Moving on!

All this free time  allows me to do more than just write and watch lizards try and cross streets.  It leaves me time to dwell deep into other aspects of who I am as a person.

2 pictures of deep thought (lots of dwelling going on).

Am I the Spirit of Halloween entangled in his own web of awesomeness?

Or am I Snoopy, alone as the only Peanuts character with any sort of redeeming qualities?

One thing is for sure, I am definitely the guy who went to Singapore’s Beerfest and cleaned up in Beer Pong!

Team Texas, Singapore Beerfest Beer Pong Champions!

(My boy Lee and I threw down! Right into plastic cups!)

So what the hell am it talking about in this blog?

I’m not really sure at this point, but if you are confused as to what beer pong is please feel free to ask.

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Singapore: Don’t Hate.

It’s been a while since my last blog and a lot has changed.
For one, I am not living in the beautiful city of Kuala Lumpur any more. I have migrated down south to the seemingly utopiatic city of Singapore.
I know Singapore is far from a Utopia but…
as a foreigner (or Ang Mo as the locals may refer to us as) it just looks so damn perfect upon arrival.

And with that being said, I like Singapore! I have lived here on 2 separate occasions and I think it is great: Great restaurants, great bars, great vistas, great walkways, great architecture, great casinos, great theme parks, and great people all in walking distance from each other! It’s Walt Disney’s least recognized achievement.

Where I was residing about a month ago, Malaysia, the people in general do not much care for Singapore or Singaporeans.  Or they at least pretend not to, in honor of what is a pretty heated rivalry regarding all things of everything.

One reason for this I am told is because Singaporeans are snobby.

Because they are snobby?

Okaaaaayyyy…

I get it I guess, aside from the fact that I am pretty sure Singaporeans have got to be the most well mannered polite individuals in all of asia.

Here is my metaphorical break down:

Singapore is kinda like the rich kid that lived on the block that had all those cool toys. He went to an awesome school, had a better education, hung out with all the cool kids and had a kick ass cell phone. If that makes him snobby then yeah… I guess so.
But if Malaysians want to dislike another country, why not England!  Think of Britain as that big bully back in the day at school who went to all the kids and stole their lunch money.  As he grew up, he continued to steal people’s money, but from a nice office.

It was the British that came in and for lack of a better word, stole one of the world’s busiest ports, Singapore, right out from underneath Malaysia.  In return, Malaysians get to watch every single match of The Barclays Premier League and have a waning understanding of the english language.

(I feel a definition is in order: Waning is a word often used to describe the decrease in size of the illuminated part of the moon.  And pretty much just means less or weaker.) Those crafty British.

Or, Malaysians could hate Thailand. Thailand is kinda like that kid on the block that is constantly fucking up and annoying everyone, but since they are just so darn cute they never get in any trouble. Hell, at times Thailand gets Malaysia in trouble. Like that time the Japanese kid on the block was trying to beat everyone up and Thailand said, “Hey! I got nothing here. Malaysia has tons of cool shit. If you want, I’ll just let you go by and you can have a clean shot at them.”

If you have no idea what I am talking about; during World War II, the reason Thailand got away relatively unharmed and uncolonized was because they realized the Japanese just wanted to get to Singapore for geographically strategic reasons. So… they struck a deal with Japan allowing them to pass through directly to Malaysia. Yeah…

So yeah… My dear Malaysian friends, if you really want to hate Singapore, go right ahead. I’m just saying there may be others out there more deserving.

So, I’ve been here in Singapore for about a month and shall continue updating as to whats been going on down here shortly.

DISCLAIMERS:
*Utopiatic: Yeah, I probably very well may have made that word up.
* Yes I am well aware that Singapore was once part of Malaysia, but it was only for 2 years and Singapore seceded due to idealogical differences which stemmed from being under British rule.

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